Different types of friendships: The givers and the takers

Has it suddenly occurred to you that the people that are in your life aren’t necessarily there for the right reasons?

Recently whilst in the office the same dawned on me. After speaking in length with Heather about how we both feel about certain friends, it dawned on me that it probably isn’t just us feeling this way. Hence the birth of this blog post.

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Throughout life, many different people will walk in and out of your life for different reasons. Some will fill you with love, and others leave you filled with regret. I guess that’s all part of life’s learning process.

But it is often our personality that allows the latter to frequent our lives more than those that fill us with love. And perhaps it is for that reason that it’s important to become savvy to who we attract, and alter our choices in order to avoid getting the short end of the stick time after time.

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Do you often find yourself becoming an agony aunt to everyone in your contact list, yet when the occasional down day comes along for you, you couldn’t feel more alone? If the answer it yes, alarm bells should be ringing.

Isolation within friendships is nothing but a highlighter of the flaws within that relationship. And perhaps that relationship is no friendship at all.

It is not your job to take on the weight of the world and counsel everyone through their daily problems. With independence and happiness those daily battles should be able to be won alone. Sure, support can be welcomed on occasion but it is not your full-time job to console your ‘best friend’ through every breathing moment.

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Like this blog post title suggests, there are givers and takers of every relationship, but the key to a successful one is a balance whereby both sides contribute. If your balance of this is off one side of the party will inevitable be feeling exhausted from the everyday pressures and expectations.

Whilst some friendships are priceless, it’s up to you to acknowledge which ones you can live without and which ones you value eternally.

We live for a really long time, during which friendships can change as often as what shoes we are wearing. Don’t feel pressure to remain friends with someone out of fear of being alone, that feeling will not last forever.

By being independent and taking hold of whom you allow into your life you will grow only stronger and richer. It’s a really empowering feeling to value yourself. Enough so to pick and choose who you gift with your presence. And before we receive stick for saying that, it’s a good thing to love yourself. Just because it’s common place to lack confidence and be down on yourself doesn’t mean that it’s okay. Set yourself the task of falling in love with yourself first, and the rest will only follow.

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X Hannah

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